Popular Comedy Quotes
Rick: Look, Chip Douglas, I don't know what your story is, but I'm going to find out!
Chip Douglas: Well, don't dig to deep or you might get burnt by the molten lava!
Rick Ford: We have to stop the sale of a nuclear bomb. They send in someone who looks like Santa Claus' fucking wife!
Susan Cooper: Uh, did you forget? I am undercover because you are not supposed to be here!
Rick Ford: Welln I make a habit out of doing things that people say I can't do!
Austin Powers: Smashing, Basil. A pimp-mobile.
Basil Exposition: Yes, yes. I knew it would tickle YOUR fancy.
Austin Powers: What can I say?
Flounder: I can't believe I threw up in front of Dean Wormer.
Boon: Face it, Kent. You threw up ON Dean Wormer.
Rasputia: [after Norbit discovers Buster and Rasputia in bed] Norbit, how dare you? Buster is a guest in our home!
Buster: Yeah, ORBIT! How dare you make such an accu-sa-si-tion!
We don't associate with the creative types. We have a Scrabble club. We associate with people with babies.Mrs. Pearl
Lou Harris: You wanna piss with me?
Jack Ryan: I don't even understand what you're saying. Do I wanna piss with you?
Michael... I love you. I've loved you for nine years, I've just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and... well, now I'm just scared. So, I realize this comes at a very inopportune time but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. Marry me. Let me make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn't it?Julianne Potter
Mel: Which reminds me, where's your report card?
Cher: It's not ready yet.
Mel: What do you mean, "it's not ready yet?"
Cher: Well, some teachers are trying to low-ball me, Daddy. And I know how you say, "Never accept a first offer", so I figure these grades are just a jumping off point to start negotiations.
Is what you want for yourself to become someone very different than me?Flor Moreno
James Carter: Now why did you say it was a bomb.
Lee: You said it was a bomb!
James Carter: I did not.
Lee: In the hotel, you said it was a bomb.
James Carter: I said 'she was the bomb'.
Lee: She was the bomb?
Jack: Jill this is Otto.
Otto: Nice to meet you.
Jill: (Yells) :Nice to meet you! He's homeless, right?
Jack: Are you whispering with a bull horn or something? Everybody hears you.