Popular Comedy Quotes
God: I now issue a new commandment: Thou shalt do the dance.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: Shake and bake!
Jean Girard: Is that a catchphrase or epilepsy?
Dewey Cox: [to his mother] All I need is my music and someday, I'll make my masterpiece.
Dewey's Dad: The wrong kid died.
Dewey Cox: You see that, Momma? That was just unnecessary.
One day you'll be cool. Look under your bed, it'll set you free.Anita Miller
Karen: I happen to LIKE the roller coaster, okay? As far as I'm concerned, your grandmother is brilliant.
Gil: Yeah if she's so brilliant why is she sitting in our NEIGHBOR'S CAR?
What brings you to this nape of the woods, neck of the wape; How come you're here?Ty Webb
Congresswoman: You have the full support of the Sunshine State!
Paulette: Yay for Ohio!
Susan: I want to spend the night with you.
Josh: Do you mean sleep over?
Susan: Well... yeah.
Josh: Well, okay... but I get to be on top.
Twins, Basil. Twins.Austin Powers
Bartleby Gaines: Hey Shrad, do you know any places up near Harmon we can rent?
Sherman Schrader: Oh, yeah I do, actually. I carry around a list with me at all times of abandoned buildings for fake colleges.
Rufus: You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower.
Jay: I can't wait to die.
Beth: That's very mature, Fenwick.
Fenwick: Fuck mature!