Popular Comedy Quotes
Princess Fiona: You know, you are acting like a... a...
Shrek: Go on, say it.
Princess Fiona: Like an ogre!
Shrek: Well, whether your parents like it or not, I am an ogre!
[growls at the dog to shut it up]
Shrek: And guess what, princess? That's not about to change.
Princess Fiona: I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that.
Donkey: Real smooth, Shrek. "I'm an ogre! Arrr!"
She's watching Riverdance. I didn't know people still watched Riverdance.Alex Rose
Dusty Bottoms: What is it doing here?
Ned Nederlander: I think it's a male plane.
Dusty Bottoms: How can you tell?
Ned Nederlander: Didn't you notice its little balls?
[to Maurice, as they are in a plane] It's more fun when you raise your arms up like this, ah ha ha ha!Julien
Dale Denton: In case you haven't noticed, which you haven't, because from what I can tell, you don't notice anything ever, we are not very functional when we're high.
Saul: Well, I don't know, man. I think I'm functioning right now. I was, like, stoned when I saved you with those slushies. What do you say to that?
Dale Denton: Well, that would be true if you had saved me. But you didn't save me. She was gonna help us, but you made things worse. Now we're wanted for all sorts of crazy shit!
I know, right?Regina
H.I.: What are you talkin' about, Glen?
Glen: What am I talkin' about? I'm talkin' about sex, boy, what the hell you talkin' about? I'm talkin' about l'amour! I'm talkin' that me and Dot are swingers, as in "to swing." I'm talkin' about wife swappin'. I'm talkin' about what they call nowadays open marriage. I'm talk...
H.I.: [Knocks Glen out] Keep your damn hands off my wife!
Rachel Phelps: I think he'll fit right in with our team concept.
Charlie Donovan: That reminds me, I was going to ask you. What exactly is our team concept?
C.C. Baxter: You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you.
Fran Kubelik: Shut up and deal...
Move over, Rover. This chick is taking over.Felicity Shagwell
Walter Sobchak: Fucking Germans. Nothing changes. Fucking Nazis.
Donny: They were Nazis, Dude?
Walter Sobchak: Oh, come on Donny, they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here?
Relationships are for people who are waiting for something better to come along.Sara