Popular Comedy Quotes
Pastor Arthur Mitchell: [to the congregation] You have to ask yourself: Would a man rob God?
Marlin: THAAAANKKK YOUUUUU SIRRRRRRR.
Dory: Wow. I wish I could speak whale.
So, now we all live together in New York. I myself, am a master of the custodial arts. Or a janitor, if you wanna be a dick about it.Thurgood Jenkins
We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie!Otto
Fletcher: Are you marrying this guy because you're mad at me?
Audrey: No - I divorced you because I was mad at you.
Martin: Whatever. I'm glad I'm not a Jew.
Ben Stone: So are we. You weren't chosen for a reason.
Don't overlook my butt, I work out all the time. And reaping burns a lot of calories.Grim Reaper
[holding the shotgun at his hip, yelling at the target]
Ben: I said get down! You better get on the ground!!
[firing the shotgun sends him flying backwards, landing crumpled up in a bin]
James: Got a little bit of kick to it.
Ben: My stomach in my ass!
James: Oh yeah, you’re ready for the streets.
A woman is said to be worth her weight in hens. And a man's wealth is measured by the size of his cock.Armand
They broke my watch!Trooper La Fong
Oooh, Behave!Austin Powers
Pooter, you're looking quite dapper this morning.Shelley Darlingson