Popular Comedy Quotes
I shot Santa Claus in the face. He's real, and I shot him in the face.Harold
Patrick: I thought you wanted out.
Cameron: Yeah, well, I did, but, uh... that was until she kissed me.
Cameron: In the car.
Charles: There I was, standing there in the church, and for the first time in my whole life I realized I totally and utterly loved one person. And it wasn't the person next to me in the veil. It's the person standing opposite me now... in the rain.
Carrie: Is it still raining? I hadn't noticed.
Evelyn Wright: We have to talk.
Deborah Clasky: Mother, are you buzzed?
Evelyn Wright: No. I quit drinking weeks ago! No one noticed, but I guess that's a pretty good indicator that I conducted myself quite well when I was drunk. But this isn't about me right now.
People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is that they have the power. You want to see a miracle? Be the miracle.God
Dina Byrnes: Now Greg, you have a *very* unique last name and Jack and I were wondering how to pronounce it?
Greg Focker: Oh, just like its spelt. F-O-C-K-E-R.
Dina Byrnes: F-Focker.
Jack Byrnes: Hmm, Focker.
Paulie Bleeker: I still have your underwear.
Juno MacGuff: I still have your virginity.
Paulie Bleeker: Shut up.
Droz: Are we having a party tonight or what?
Cecilia: Well, there's no publicity, so there's no people; Gutter never showed up, so there's no beer; instruments just blew out, so there's no band; and I think Raji and Deege may be dead.
Droz: Wait a minute... no beer? Well, where the hell's Gutter?
Katy: Probably in a parking lot somewhere picking his nose.
Are you kidding me? Look at all this crap! There's like a million wires in here. I'm more like a three wire guyMacGruber
Ah, biker. I'm such an idiot.Foster
Claire: This is nice. Just two friends having dinner... no pressure.
Alvin: [the lights turn down, the stereo turns on; "Let's Get It On" begins to play] Boom chicka wow-wow, chicka wow-wow!
[whispering to Dave]
Alvin: Tell her she completes you!