Popular Comedy Quotes
When the fantasy has ended/and all the children are gone/something good inside me/helps me to carry on/I ate some bugs/I ate some grass/I used my hand to wipe my tears/to kiss your mouth/I break my vows/no no no no no no way Jose/unless you want to/then we break our vows togetherNacho
"You're never gonna believe where I'm callin' you from, man. I'm on a mountain, on my phone!"[passing the main characters, as they begin to suspect they're in the '80s]
James Brennan: Maybe I'm not the right guy to run this game. I really... I think I should probably be on the rides department.
Bobby: Oh, no, no, no. No. You're more of a game guy.
Paulette: Yeah, you're very... you're very gamey.
Jack: Are you still seeing that shrink?
Miles Raymond: I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck therapy. And what is that stuff you take... Xanax?
Miles Raymond: And Lexapro, yes.
Jack: Well, I say, fuck that too. You need to get your joint worked on, Miles.
Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.Seagulls
[after Al fix his car] Look at that! You're a goddamn wizard, Al!The Kid
Should I bolt every time I get that feeling in my gut when I meet someone new? Well, I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains.Rob
Bill: At my cousin Ruthie's wedding, the groom's brother was that guy Alakazam. You know who I'm talking about?
Stan: The magician with the ponytail?
Bill: Right. Well, he did his act, and every time he made something disappear, Vinny jumped on him. I mean, he nailed him! It was like, "it's in his pocket", or "he's palming it", you know? Or, "there's a mirror under the table." I mean, he was like, he was like, "wait a second, wait a second, it's joined in the middle, and there's a spring around it, it pops it open when it's inside the tube." It was like Alakazam's worst nightmare. Vinny was just being Vinny. He was just being the quintessential Gambini.
Lloyd Christmas: You guys wanna play he who smelt it?
Travis: What's that?
Harry Dunne: It's complicated so pay attention.
Lloyd Christmas: We put the windows up, first one who smells the fart gets a point.
Harry Dunne: If you say who dealt it, double points!
Travis: I don’t want to play that!
Harry Dunne: Ok fine. Lloyd and I will play one on one.
Lloyd Christmas: Ya!
Travis: How can you play one on one? If you smell a fart and you didn't do it, isn't it obvious the other guy did?
Lloyd Christmas: I thought you said you never played before?
[holding the shotgun at his hip, yelling at the target]
Ben: I said get down! You better get on the ground!!
[firing the shotgun sends him flying backwards, landing crumpled up in a bin]
James: Got a little bit of kick to it.
Ben: My stomach in my ass!
James: Oh yeah, you’re ready for the streets.
Fuck off, Death!Borat