Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings.

Maury Ballstein

Spalding Smails: I want a hamburger... no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog. I want a milkshake...
Judge Smails: You'll get nothing, and like it.

Tai: Do you think she's pretty?
Cher: No, she's a full-on Monet.
Tai: What's a monet?
Cher: It's like a painting, see? From far away, it's OK, but up close, it's a big old mess. Let's ask a guy. Christian, what do you think of Amber?
Christian: Hagsville.
Cher: See?

[looking at his reflection in the mirror] Mmmmm... I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone... come and see how good I look.

Ron Burgundy

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!

Brennan Huff

I don't normally do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have an absolutely breath-taking... heiney. I mean, that thing's good. I wanna be friends with it.

Ron Burgundy

This is Natalya. She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan.


Saul Silver: What's up with the suit?
Dale Denton: Oh, I'm a process server, so I have to wear a suit.
Saul Silver: Wow, you're a servant? Like a butler? A chauffeur?
Dale Denton: No, no. What? No, I'm not like..
Saul Silver: Shine shoes?
Dale Denton: I'm a "process server!"

Bender: You load up, you party?
Brian Johnson: Uhh, no, actually, we dress up.

Janine, someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.

Dr. Peter Venkman

Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?
Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks!
Regina: That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.

Officer Smy: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd take you down a peg or two.
[to Foster]
Officer Smy: Hey douche bag.
Foster: [to Ursula] If you were my wife, I'd massage your feet 'til you fell asleep.
Ursula: Nice try.

FREE Movie Newsletter