Popular Comedy Quotes
There's no "immunity" to bullets!Jeff Spoder
Fiona: How's Duckface?
Charles: Good form actually, not too mad.
John Lennon is rolling over in his grave to hide the giant boner you just gave him!David Marshall
[to Max] She's in love with a dead guy anyway.Herman Blume
"I didn't f***in' try and kill myself! If I wanted to kill myself, I'd f***in' kill myself. I'd be awesome at it. Shotgun to the dick."Lou
Stu Price: You do know counting cards is illegal, right?
Alan Garner: It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon. Like masturbating in an airplane.
Phil Wenneck: I'm pretty sure that's illegal, too.
Andy Stitzer: Well, if you loved her so much, why did you cheat on her?
Jay: [sobbing violently] Because! Duh! I'm insecure! Can't you tell?
Ha, your pig fiance is too late!Westley
Real diamonds! They must be worth their weight in gold!Sugar
You're squeezing your boobies out!Corky St. Clair
My name is Lance, and I like nuts!Steve Barker
I wouldn't live with you if the world were flooded with piss and you lived in a tree!Julie