Popular Comedy Quotes
Go, trig boy! It's your birthday!Garage Band Member
Nadia: [takes off her panties]
Jim: Holy shit.
Finch: HOLY SHIT!
Garage Band Member, Garage Band Member, Garage Band Member: [together] Holy shit!
Enthusiastic Guy: [enthusiastically] Holy shit!
Steve Stifler: You actually said that?
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Shut up!
Jim: You did better than me, Nova.
Chris "Oz" Ostreicher: Don't call me that any more. I'm a fraud.
You guys are pathetic. I'm gonna find myself a little hottie. SUCK ME BEAUTIFUL!Steve Stifler
Steve Stifler: Hey, Kev, seen shit break lately?
Kevin: Why? What did you do to him?
Steve Stifler: Me? Nothing. I'm the one whose ass he kicked. But uh... I'll tell you one thing... I don't think he's gonna have a problem shitting in school anymore. Slipped a little something into his Moccachino.
Kevin: If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed.
Jim: Sherman? The Sherminator?
All I want for Christmas is you.Judy
Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around.Prime Minister
Harold: ...The universe tends to unfold as it should.
Kumar: What is that? Some fortune cookie?
Kumar: Hey, are the cops still here?
[cops left moments earlier to check out a shooting in Millbrook Park]
Harold: What the hell are you doing?
Kumar: I just called and made up some story about a shooting in Millbrook Park.
Harold: Jesus Christ! What'd you do that for?
Kumar: I'm fucking starving! I figured I'd bust you out and we'd go get some burgers.
[narrating] He insist we not fly, in case the Jews repeated their attack of 9/11.Borat
Yea, I completely agree with you. You know, an art teacher of mine once said. Never buy a piece of art that you don't have to have. You know, don't worry about who the artist is or how much it's worth. I mean, you have to live with it everyday. You have to walk by it everyday. You have to really love it; you have to really appreciate it. It's kind of like picking a mate.Brooke