Popular Comedy Quotes
Don't worry. We can walk to the curb from here.Alvy Singer
Consult your doctor before using this product. Side effects may include oily discharge, hives, loss of appetite, low blood pressure. If you have diabetes or a history of kidney trouble, you're dead, asshole!Jack
If you love me enough to sell your tickets, I love you enough not to let you.Lindsey Meeks
It's hell out there. Matthew's trapped with an evangelist from Minnesota.Gareth
[to Rhonda] GET OUT OF YOUR PANTS!Valentine McKee
Rufus T. Firefly: How would you like a job in the mint?
Chicolini: Mint? No, no, I no like a mint. Uh, what other flavor you got?
Tyra Banks: Do you know who i am?
Hannah Montana: I know you know who i am.
[sitting watching "Ghost" and crying] God, I'm a fag.Tank
Be a mensch!Dr. Dreyfuss
Erica Barry: Wait. You're leaving, Zoe's leaving, the entourage is leaving. You mean I'm going to be alone in this house... with HIM?
Marin: Well, the hospital's sending over a nurse first thing in the morning.
Erica Barry: In the morning? That's like 19 hours from now!
I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is.Slinky Dog
American Representative: Fuck Canada!
Canadian Representative: Hey fuck you buddy!