Popular Comedy Quotes
Ed: A hunch won't stand up in court, Frank. What we need are hard facts.
Frank: Look, Ed. Ludwig was the only one besides us who knew Nordberg was still alive. Next thing you know, some thug tries to knock him off in the hospital.
Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig's office without a warrant, you're taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.
Jay: Silent Bob stole the schematics from some foolish carpenter and found a weakness just like the fucking Death Star. You knock this crossbeam out and, fuckin' bickety-bam, the whole stage comes crashing down.
Brodie: Well we were thinking of something simple, but hey, if you want to destroy the stage, we're all for that.
[looking down the canyon] It's just a straight plummet to certain death.Horton
Since when do you go bowling?Brad Hamilton
Freddy: Are we going to be goofing off like this everyday?
Dewey Finn: We're not goofing off. We're creating musical fusion.
Freddy: Ok, so are we going to be creating musical fusion everyday?
Dewey Finn: Yes.
Austin: Basil, this coffee smells like shit.
Basil: It is shit, Austin.
Austin: Oh, good, then it's not just me.
It feels like I got cat piss in my eyes.Jackie Moon
Red: Man, just listen: I would just appreciate it if both y'all would just take your shoes off; I mean, this is brand new carpet, you're tracking mud in here - Matheson, you've got British Knights on. I ain't seen anybody wear them since 1987!
Alex Rose: So Chick, how much is this gonna set us back?
Alex Rose: Okay, 'cause we had had a slightly different figure in our heads. We were thinking of something a little closer to like half a K.
With meditation, there's no limit to what you can... Imagine.John Lennon
Lee: [handcuffs Lee to the steering wheel] Hey, what are you doing?
Carter: You ain't the only one with quick hands now, right? Wah!