Popular Comedy Quotes
Friend: Are you sure Applebee's is the best place to meet hot women?
Rick: You thinking Olive Garden?
Everytime I see a bag of Hershey's Kisses my balls get so wet.Neil Patrick Harris
Norbit: Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday, Tuesday...
Rasputia: Say Tuesday again, you ain't gonna live to see Wednesday.
Emily: Andrea, Runway is fashion magazine, an interest in fashion is crucial.
Andy Sachs: What makes you think I'm not interested in fashion?
My. You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble someday.Count Rugen
Saul: Sick! You threw up in my printer!
Dale Denton: I did.
Saul: You break it?
Dale Denton: I hope not.
Walter Sobchak: Also, let's not forget - let's NOT forget, Dude - that keeping wildlife, an amphibious rodent, for uh, domestic, you know, within the city - that aint legal either.
The Dude: What are you, a fucking park ranger?
Walter Sobchak: No, I'm...
The Dude: Who gives a shit about the marmot!
The Dude: Dude.
Nihilist: [on the phone] Who is this?
The Dude: Dude. The bag man, man. Where do you want us to go?
The Dude: [to Walter] Shit!
The Dude: Uh. Yeah, uh. Me and, uh, the driver. I'm not handling the money, driving the car and talking on the phone all at the same time.
Nihilist: Shut the fuck up.
Walter Sobchak: Dude, are you fucking this up?
Nihilist: Who the fuck is that?
The Dude: That is the driver.
[Nihilist hangs up]
The Dude: Shit! Walter, you fuck... you fucked it up! You fucked it up! Her life was in our hands, man!
Walter Sobchak: Nothing is fucked here, Dude. Come on, you're being very un-Dude. They'll call back.
I believe virtually everything I read, and I think that is what makes me more of a selective human than someone who doesn't believe anything.David St. Hubbins
I was shopping for my wife Bonnie. I buy most of her clothes and Mrs Pearl was in the same shop! And it just was an accident you know, we started talking... about panty hose, she was saying... whatever that's not the point of the story but what the point is is that through this accidental meeting... it's like a Hitchcock movie you know where you're thrown into a rubber bag and put in the trunk of a car, you find people. You find them. Something, is is it karma? Maybe. But we found him, that's the important thing. And I got Bonnie a wonderful pantsuit.Corky St. Clair
I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded.Brick Tamland
Schmidt: Yo Sleepy, wus up homie!, everyone saying that Sleepy he like the Mexican wolverine
Scarface: Why you not talking?
Jenko: My name is Jeff