Popular Comedy Quotes
Ace: Your request is not unlike your lower intestine: stinky and loaded with danger.
Well, my name's Dewey Oxburger. My friends call me Ox. I dont know if you've noticed, but I got a slight weight problem.Dewey Oxburger
Time to nut up or shut up!Tallahassee
We're up the creek and you want to hock the paddle!Jerry
I'm going to murder-ball you!Jonah
Loki: The last four days on Earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do that next best thing.
Bartleby: What's that?
Loki: Let's kill people.
Wow, that was really scary and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath STINKS.Donkey
Elliot: Trust me, you know the day I met you Ian kicked me out of the herd, I lost my antler, I got run over, and tied to the hood of a truck, what do you call that?
Boog: Ahhh a loser! But check this out... behold the mighty grizzly... i look like a bear, i talk like a bear but i can't fish, i can't climb a tree, i can't even go in the woods
Elliot: Thats nothing! Half doe, half buck! I'm a duck!
Boog: I ride a unicycle for crackers
Elliot: I have a glass eye
Boog: I can't snap
Elliot: I thought log was a colour
Boog: I can't see my feet!
Elliot: I killed a man!
Good sir? I heard you were a poet. But a poet of no words?Viola De Lesseps
I can't fire them. I hired these guys for three days a week and they just started showing up every day. That was four years ago.Rob
What a freak! He wants to be smart, but that's lame!'Baby' Brent
[to Shrek as the ship leaves] Well my friend, you are royally...Puss in Boots