Popular Comedy Quotes
Ed: A hunch won't stand up in court, Frank. What we need are hard facts.
Frank: Look, Ed. Ludwig was the only one besides us who knew Nordberg was still alive. Next thing you know, some thug tries to knock him off in the hospital.
Ed: Yeah, but going into Ludwig's office without a warrant, you're taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.
Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eatFrank
Jane, since I've met you I've noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.Frank
Frank: Interesting... Almost as interesting as the photographs I saw today.
Jane: I was young. I needed the work.
Someone has been pissing on my Gamecube and I'm about to close the case.Titembay
Gary: I'm the one who should be sorry, Brooke. I shouldn't sit here and pick on your art, because you've got the 'nuts' down, Picasso! All you have to do is cut off your frigging ear.
Brooke: That's Van Gogh, you idiot. Your insults are much more effective when they're accurate.
Dinner host: I called the police.
Borat: Why? Did the retard escape?
Jane: Would you like a nightcap?
Frank: No thank you, I don't wear them.
Ludwig: So they were able to get him to the hospital in time?
Frank: Yes, he's in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle.
Mrs. Nordberg, I think we can save your husband's arm. Where would you like it sent?Nurse #2
Arrested for what, baby? For being awesome?Lupus Grobowski
Listen, Lassie, and listen good. I'm not saying he's not gonna get married. I'm not saying he's not gonna have kids. If it does happen, his wife is gonna come home, and find him with his Tiajuana lover clubbing each other with Yanni's greatest hits.Gary