Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of silly persons!

French Soldier

[giving an interview] Thank you, Doug. You know, I saw Doug playing yesterday. And I've got to tell you, this guy spends more time on the sand than David Hasselhoff.

Shooter McGavin

Sig Poliakoff: You're the wrong shape. Goodbye!
Joe: What are you looking for - hunchbacks or something?
Sig Poliakoff: It's not the backs that worry me.

Son, you got a panty on your head.


Kelly: Cool ride huh?
Jock # 1: Yeah... if you're a fag!
Kelly: [throws jock to the ground] Get in!

[Searching for Twinkies] Where are ya, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards!


You will not make this putt... jackass!


Ed: Hey, Shaun, look who it is!

Jay: Yo man, tell me something about me.
Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone on the planet.
Jay: Aww, fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows.
Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys.
[shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay]
Jay: Dude, not all the time.

We're up the creek and you want to hock the paddle!


Time to nut up or shut up!


Yeah! The attitude dictates that you don't care whether she comes, stays, lays, or prays. I mean whatever happens, your toes are still tappin'. Now when you got that, then you have the attitude.

Mike Damone

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