Popular Comedy Quotes
Ahoy polloi... where did you come from, a scotch ad?Spalding Smails
Chancho. When you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun.Nacho
Jacob: "Holy shit-- you're wasted!"
Adam: "I've had, like, two wine kills, Captain Buzzcooler."
Meaner dude: If I was in your shoes, I'd be...
Otter: Leaving! What a good idea.
It's so beautiful!... Let's live here. [he kisses Rita] We'll rent, to start.Phil
Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!
Wearing clothes must be a new experience for you.Darryl Jenks
Harry: Where's the booze?
Lloyd: I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart. I didn't even see it coming.
Harry: Oh, no, no.
Lloyd: Come on, Harry.
Harry: It gets worse. My parakeet, Petey.
Harry: He's dead.
Lloyd: Oh, man, I'm sorry. What happened?
Harry: His head fell off.
Lloyd: His head fell off?
Harry: Yeah. He was pretty old.
You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy.Mike Lowrey
[hypnotizing Derek] Hi Derek! My name's Little Cletus and I'm here to tell you a few things about child labor laws, ok? They're silly and outdated. Why back in the 30s, children as young as five could work as they pleased; from textile factories to iron smelts. Yippee! Hurray!Mugatu
If I wasn't from Jamaica, then why would I be wearing this hat?Thurgood Jenkins
Katy: Hey, Droz, how 'bout this: Tonight, at the Pit, "Everyone Gets Laid."
Droz: It's tasteless, disgusting, and offensive. I love it.