Dewey Finn: Katie, what was that thing you were playing today, the big thing?
Katie: Cello.
Dewey Finn: Ok. This is a bass guitar. And it's the exact same thing but instead of playing it like this you tip it on the side... cello, you got a bass.

Davy Jones: I wonder, Sparrow, can you condemn a innocent man, a friend to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
Jack Sparrow: Yep, I can live with it

Hey Hal, come look at this turd! It looks like Klinger from M.A.S.H.!


To mail six packages to Japan overnight is how much? That's in yen? DOLLARS? Oh, you people are deliberately taking advantage of people in a hurry, you know that?

Al McWiggin

Larry Johnson: Sorry about the...
Foster: All right meow. (1) Hand over your license and registration.

Prince Edward: Once we return to Andalasia, Narissa, I will tell the entire kingdom of what you've done and will overthrow you!
Queen Narissa: Take away my thrown? Edward, aren't you being a little too melodramatic.
Prince Edward: I don't know what "melodramatic" means... but I'll do it.

Ben Stone: Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
Alison Scott: And a little bit Spanish?
Ben Stone: Yeah, I'm not very good with impressions.

I see a lot of myself in that kid. It's kinda freakin' me out.


Giselle: Now if only I can find a place to rest my head for the night.
Robert Philip: What kind of place?
Giselle: I don't know. Maybe a nearby meadow or a hollow tree.
Robert Philip: A hollow tree?
Giselle: Or a house full of dwarves. I hear they're very hospitable.

Marcus Burnett: [to Mike] I'm not understanding, I - I really don't.
Store Clerk: [pointing gun at Marcus] Shut up!
Marcus Burnett: I mean, do you just attract violence?

Maybe that's what 'ell is, an entire eternity spent in fucking Bruges.


O.K., we'll stop, get pancakes and then we'll get laid, alright?

Carl Showalter

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