We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie!


Now really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?

Lord Farquaad

Davy Jones: I wonder, Sparrow, can you condemn a innocent man, a friend to a lifetime of servitude in your name while you roam free?
Jack Sparrow: Yep, I can live with it

[to Doris the Bowler Hat] I am NEVER going to invent you.


Gwen: Is it true this is your seventh year at Coolidge?
Van Wilder: Carry the two, yes that's correct.

She's gonna cry tears that form "call Dusty".


Matthew: I have a question for you real quick. What did you think of my demo? Did you get it?
Aldous Snow: I was gonna listen to that, but then, um, I just carried on living my life.

Hey Hal, come look at this turd! It looks like Klinger from M.A.S.H.!


No you're not hardcore! Unless you live hardcore! And the legend of the rent was way hardcore!

Dewey Finn

Gas Station Employee: I'm picking up your sarcasm.
Richard Hayden: Well, I should hope so, because I'm laying it on pretty thick.

You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes. Then after about 15 minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of the New Jersey Turnpike!

Craig Schwartz

I bet she gives great helmet.

Dark Helmet

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