Popular Comedy Quotes
Grandma Gallagher: Mary Katherine, what are you doing?
Mary Katherine Gallagher: I'm using my telekineses to kill the girl who poured pig's blood on me at the prom.
Well if anyone would know you were pulling your hips out early it'd be Annie.Larry
Kevin: If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed.
Jim: Sherman? The Sherminator?
Bo Peep: [amorously] You're cute when you care.
Woody: [embarrassed] Bo. Not in front of Buzz.
[about Andy telling Trish he's a virgin]
Andy Stitzer: What if she laughs at me?
Cal: Then you punch her in the fucking head.
Steve: What the heck is that?
Mike: Ah! It's Ozzy Osborne!
Mike Lowrey: What the hell are you doin'?
Marcus Burnett: Keepin' my shit quick.
Mike Lowrey: Oh, I see. You aren't gettin any at home, so you got a lot of extra energy. Go ahead, burn it off.
Jack Byrnes: What are you guys doing in here?
Larry: Looks like rounding second base.
Rabbi Jake Schram: You're in love with her?
Father Brian Finn: [to himself] No one seems to have picked up on this. It's very strange.
Grace: I've got a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive.
Bruce: Well I'm IB positive. I be positive they ain't touching me with no needle.
Nancy Hayes: Jack, what do you think will happen if that money reaches those thugs.
Jack Ryan: I don't know. They'll probably have a hell of a luau.
Nancy Hayes: I mean to Walter!
Jack Ryan: We'll probably get invited.
Margaret: Do you think he'll kneel down when he asks her?
Margaret: They always kneel down.