If Milty Mingleton can shove himself into that weenie bikini, then you don't need to be shy about making your donations to the swim team.

Van Wilder

Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.
Applicant: I like rape.

General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Well, no, I can't say I have.

[narrating] I wanted to run away that day, but you can't run away from your own feet.

Flint Lockwood

Chon Wang: We are wasting time.
Roy: What do you think I've been doing? Sittin' here and drinking expensive hooch?
[to Charlie]
Roy: Boy, refill.

Sweet Joesph, my son's a fairy.

Vance Wilder, Sr.

Those boys desecrated a burning cross!

Homer Stokes

I miss my old chair.


And we do want to say to the people at home, the clit is not something to be played with.

Reg Hartner

Gracie: Get off of me! I thought you were gay!
Neil Patrick Harris: I am gay...gay for that!

Talk Show Producer: No respected psychic will come on this show. They all think you're a fraud.
Peter Venkman: I am a fraud!

Stop tailgatin' me ya pasty teabag! Can I make a peepee?

Kirk Lazarus

FREE Movie Newsletter