Popular Comedy Quotes
If Milty Mingleton can shove himself into that weenie bikini, then you don't need to be shy about making your donations to the swim team.Van Wilder
Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.
Applicant: I like rape.
General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Well, no, I can't say I have.
[narrating] I wanted to run away that day, but you can't run away from your own feet.Flint Lockwood
Chon Wang: We are wasting time.
Roy: What do you think I've been doing? Sittin' here and drinking expensive hooch?
Roy: Boy, refill.
Sweet Joesph, my son's a fairy.Vance Wilder, Sr.
Those boys desecrated a burning cross!Homer Stokes
I miss my old chair.Kirk
And we do want to say to the people at home, the clit is not something to be played with.Reg Hartner
Gracie: Get off of me! I thought you were gay!
Neil Patrick Harris: I am gay...gay for that!
Talk Show Producer: No respected psychic will come on this show. They all think you're a fraud.
Peter Venkman: I am a fraud!
Stop tailgatin' me ya pasty teabag! Can I make a peepee?Kirk Lazarus