Popular Comedy Quotes
The last time I had a pap smear, the guy needed leather gloves and an oyster shucker.Magda
Chum: Humans. Think they own everything.
Anchor: Probably American.
Marlin: I can't afford any more delays and you're one of those fish that causes delays. Sometimes it's a good thing. There's a whole group of fish. They're delay fish.
Dory: You mean... You mean you don't like me?
Marlin: No, of course I like you. It's because I like you I don't want to be with you. It's a complicated emotion.
Bob: Hey, you're doing pretty well for a first-timer.
Marlin: Well, you can't hold on to them forever, can you?
Bill: You know I had a tough time when my oldest went out to the drop off.
Marlin: They've just got to grow up some... THE DROP OFF? THEY'RE GOING TO THE DROP OFF? WHAT ARE YOU, INSANE? WHY DON'T WE FRY THEM UP NOW AND SERVE THEM WITH CHIPS?
Bob: Hey Marty, calm down.
Marlin: Don't tell me to be calm, pony boy.
Bob: Pony boy?
Bill: You know for a clownfish, he really isn't that funny.
Dory: I saw a boat.
Marlin: You did?
Dory: Yeah, it went by not too long ago. Follow me.
Happy Gilmore: Oh, man. That was so much easier than putting. I should just try to get the ball in one shot every time.
Chubbs: Good plan.
Nemo: Are you all right?
Dory: I don't know where I am... I don't know what's going on. I think I lost somebody but I... I can't remember... and I can't remember...
Nemo: It's okay, it's okay. I'm looking for somebody too. Hey, we can look together.
Dory: I'm Dory.
Nemo: I'm Nemo.
Dory: Nemo? ... That's a nice name.
Squirt: Whoa! That was so cool! Hey dad! Did you see that? Did you see me? Did you see what I did?
Crush: You so totally rock, Squirt! So gimme some fin.
[they slap fins]
Mr. Ray: Well, hello Nemo. Who's this?
Nemo: Exchange student.
Squirt: I'm from the EAC, dude.
Mr. Ray: Sweet!
Nemo, Squirt: Totally!
[Tossing drug-laced dog treats into Mary's apartment]
Pat Healy: Wait... how many is this?
Norm: Umm... four.
Pat Healy: Four? That seems like an aweful lot of speed to give one little pooch. Are you sure it won't kill him?
Norm: I never said that.
Pat Healy: ... eh.
Mary: You've been to Nepal?
Pat Healy: Not in months, I don't know why I bought the damn place.