Popular Comedy Quotes
Simone: Do you have any dreams?
Pee-wee: Yeah, I'm all alone. I'm rolling a big doughnut and this snake wearing a vest...
Brian: You don't need to put your P in a V right now.
Peter Bretter: No, I need to B my L on someone's T's.
Seth: [referring to Evan's mother] I am truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby.
Evan: Yeah, well, at least you got to suck on your dad's dick.
Seth: [shrugs] It's a nice lookin' dick.
Rosita: I was thinking later, you could kiss me on the veranda.
Dusty Bottoms: Lips would be fine.
Complaining Fan: Move that gigantic cotton candy!
Local Officer Rando: God dammit!
[hits man with cotton candy]
Local Officer Rando: How's the view from sugar heaven, bitch?
Pinchers of power! You guys! I've been saved by my Pinchers of Power!Richard 'Data' Wang
She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls.Andy Stitzer
Thurgood Jenkins: Yeah, get me a box of condoms, and, what was that thing we used to eat back in the day? What was it... oh yeah, pussy.
Kenny: You got it.
Yes, I think I'll have the mahi-mahi, but can I get it with just one mahi?Shelley
Curtis: Do you guys know 'Minnie the Moocher'?
Murph: I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola!
Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing.
Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
Jack Sparrow: Mr. Gibbs.
Jack Sparrow: We have a need to travel upriver.
Gibbs: By "need," do you mean a trifling need? Fleeting? As in, say, a fancy?
Jack Sparrow: No, a resolute and unyielding need.