Popular Comedy Quotes
Tracy Lord: Hello you.
Macaulay Connor: Hello.
Tracy Lord: You look fine.
Macaulay Connor: I feel fine.
I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.Gretchen
Bob Wilton: What are you doing?
Lyn Cassady: [while driving the car] Cloud bursting, it keeps me sharp.
Lyn Cassady: [clouds over head dissapear] and it's gone.
[crashes the car into a rock]
Bob Wilton: Gees, you had like the whole dessert to dive in, Lyn.
That's C-4, dipshit. Put that back. I said a detonator! I need some dudes who speak American god dammit! He's making a fucking sweater here, I'm tryin' to put tiger bomb on this jungle's nuts.Cody
Is love a fancy or a feeling... or a Ferrars?Marianne
On November 1st, 1959, the population of New York City was 8,042,783. If you laid all these people end to end, figuring an average height of five feet six and a half inches, they would reach from Times Square to the outskirts of Karachi, Pakistan. I know facts like this because I work for an insurance company - Consolidated Life of New York. We're one of the top five companies in the country. Our home office has 31,259 employees, which is more than the entire population of uhh... Natchez, Mississippi. I work on the 19th floor. Ordinary Policy Department, Premium Accounting Division, Section W, desk number 861.C.C. Baxter
Rosemary Cross: I'm just having a little snack
Herman Blume: What'd you got there... carrots?
Jack Wyatt: I'm going to be killed by a fictional character!
Uncle Arthur: Yes, you are.
Reporter: What would you call that hairstyle you're wearing?
Quick children, smash the Jew egg!Borat
In thirty days I'll be bulldozing that shit-heap you call a gym into permanent nothingness. And I can only hope that you, and the mongrel race that comprise your membership, are inside it when I do.White Goodman
Gene: Now finish up them taters; I'm gonna go fondle my sweaters.
Gary: Come on. What?
Gene: Finish up the taters.
Gary: And then what did you say?
Gene: And then what did I say?
Gary: You said you were going to... fondle your sweaters.
Gene: Ah, uh - no I didn't. I said... fondue the cheddar... I was thinking about making fondue with cheddar cheese for dinner tonight.
Gary: No, Gene, that is not what you said.
Gene: That is what I said. Fondue cheddar.