You don't have to yell. It's not a train station. We're in a tiny car.

Nick

Dan Marino: Hey Ace, got anymore of that gum?
Ace Ventura: That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs.

Rosita: I was thinking later, you could kiss me on the veranda.
Dusty Bottoms: Lips would be fine.

Now that's how you get pink eye.

Ben Stone

Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?
Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks!
Regina: That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.

One day, lady superspy Susan Cooper, I will fuck you.

Aldo

Kat Stratford: Tell me something true.
Patrick: Something true... I hate peas.
Kat Stratford: No, something real, something no one else knows.
Patrick: Okay, you're sweet, and sexy, and completely hot for me.

When life gives you lemons, just say 'Fuck the lemons,' and bail.

Surfing Instructor

[as hotel desk clerk; in deep voice] Paging Mr. Herman! Mr. Herman, you have a telephone call at the front desk!

Pee-wee Herman

[speaking to the priest] This girl's fit for a strait-jacket. I mean she's fucked three ways to the weekend. But you know what, Father? I dig it!

Jeremy Grey

That's the best part about the Jeffrey. It goes away and then it comes back.

Jonathan Snow

Sara: What's your name?
Chip: They call me Chip.
Sara: Aw, you can't get 'em to stop?

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