The Dude: Yeah, well. The Dude abides.
The Stranger: The Dude abides. I don't know about you but I take comfort in that. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Dude. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals.

[pretending to sound genuine] Yup, those goofy bastards are about the best thing I've got going.

Pat Healy

What about Brett Fav... ruh?

Ted

Have you ever had a whitehead on your eyeball, Mary?

Dom

Brandt: Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a generous offer to you to act as courier, once we get instructions for the money.
The Dude: Why me, man?
Brandt: He believes the culprits might be the very people who, uh, soiled your rug, and you are in a unique position to confirm or disconfirm that suspicion.
The Dude: He thinks the carpet pissers did this?

They're break-dance fighting.

Mugatu

Oop... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it fellas. Veronica and I trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild.

Ron Burgundy

I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said... my tummy itches.

Brick Tamland

Ted: [narrating] From that point on, the guys looked at me in a completely different light.
High School Pal: You're a fuckin' liar!

I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.

Ted

Grandma: What happened to that nice girlfriend of yours?
Happy Gilmore: Oh, She got hit by a car, she's dead.

Husband... negative. Children and a Labrador... negative. Tight little package... affirmative.

Pat Healy

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