Bueller?... Bueller?... Bueller?

Economics Teacher

When I first heard the name Clouseau, he was a little nothing. Just another police officer in a small village far from Paris. He was the village idiot, I think.

Chief Inspector Dreyfus

Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.

Walter Sobchak

That's a terrible name for a detective. Sherlock Holmes?


They using big words now. Sanctuary, congested... that means umm, ghetto.


[slurred] I'm gonna rock your vagina.

Carl Halabi

Phil: "Stu Come on, Get up. We got a situation"
Stu: "Where are we"
Phil: "You're gonna freak out, but its gonna be ok."
[Stu checks mirror and screams]
"This is a real tattoo!"
Stu: "Alan what did you do? Did you roofie me?
Alan: I didn't do anything

Random Guy: Hey Amanda.
Amanda Becket: Hey.
Random Guy: Remember that time we danced at the sock hop?
Amanda Becket: Yeah.
Random Guy: I just wanted you to know I had the hugest boner and I was just wondering if maybe you and I could get together and... work it out?

Ah, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin, McLovin.

Officer Michaels

[Reading a reward poster]
Roy O'Bannon: The Shanghai Kid. This is terrible!
Chon Wang: I know. I'm not from Shanghai.

Wayne Campbell: Will you still love me when I'm in my carbohydrate, sequined-jumpsuit, young-girls-in-white-cotton-panties, waking-up-in-a-pool-of-your-own-vomit, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase?
Cassandra: Yeah.
Wayne Campbell: Okay, party. Bonus.

Joanna: So what do you wanna do?
Peter Gibbons: First I'm gonna take you out to dinner, and then I'm gonna go back to my apartment and watch kung fu. Do you ever watch kung fu?
Joanna: I love kung fu.
Peter Gibbons: Channel 39.
Joanna: Totally.
Peter Gibbons: You should come over and watch kung fu tonight.
Joanna: Ok. Ok. Can we order lunch first? Ok.

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