Popular Comedy Quotes
Franz Liebkind: You know, not many people know zis, but der FÃ¼hrer was a terrific dancer.
Max: Really? Gee, we didn't know that, did we, Leo?
Leo: No, we sure didn't.
Franz Liebkind: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU WERE TAKEN IN BY THE BBC! Filthy British lies! But did they ever say a bad word about Winston Churchill? CHURCHILL! With his cigars, and his brandy, and his ROTTEN paintings! ROTTEN! Hitler, there was a painter! He could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon! Two coats!
Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.Walter Sobchak
Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dog food. I've had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.Al Czervik
Well, the future better get ready for me. 'Cause I'm Foxxy Cleopatra, and I'm a WHOLE LOTTA WOMAN.Foxxy Cleopatra
Lawrence Jamieson: Do you ever have a single thought that originates from above the waist?
Freddy Benson: No!
Ned: Phil, this is the best day of my life.
Phil: Mine too.
Rita: Mine too.
Ned: Where are we going?
Rita: Oh, let's not spoil it!
Here you are sitting on your butt playing house with a... Don't get me wrong, H.I., a fine woman but one who seems like she needs one of those button-down types.Gale
Your personality gets in the way of your looks. Your very good looks.Ned
[slurred] I'm gonna rock your vagina.Carl Halabi
Ms. Perky: Nine schools in ten years. My, my. Army brat?
Cameron: Yeah, my dad is, uh...
Ms. Perky: That's enough. I'm sure you won't find Padua any different than your old schools. Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere.
Cameron: Excuse me? Did you just say... am I in the right office?
Ms. Perky: Not any more you're not. I've got deviants to see and a novel to finish. Now scoot. Scoot!
William Shakespeare: Can you love a fool?
Viola De Lesseps: Can you love a player?
Alex O'Donnell: [after watching Mike dance with Scarlet] Do you dance with all your friends moms?
Mike O' Donnell: Pretty much...