Popular Comedy Quotes
Oh ... my ... God.Dean Vernon Wormer
Phil: "Stu Come on, Get up. We got a situation"
Stu: "Where are we"
Phil: "You're gonna freak out, but its gonna be ok."
[Stu checks mirror and screams]
"This is a real tattoo!"
Stu: "Alan what did you do? Did you roofie me?
Alan: I didn't do anything
[Reading a reward poster]
Roy O'Bannon: The Shanghai Kid. This is terrible!
Chon Wang: I know. I'm not from Shanghai.
Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter.Richard Hayden
Woman, this is all your fault. Come bargin' in here like a friggin' moose.Kenny Fisher
Wayne Campbell: Will you still love me when I'm in my carbohydrate, sequined-jumpsuit, young-girls-in-white-cotton-panties, waking-up-in-a-pool-of-your-own-vomit, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase?
Wayne Campbell: Okay, party. Bonus.
Jim: Uh-oh, Bart. I think Mongo here's taken a liking to you.
Mongo: Huh-huh, naw, Mongo straight.
I'm gonna kick your ass and then I'll take your ass to jail.Carter
John Milner: I know, uh... you probably think you're a big shot, goin' off like this...
John Milner: [he slaps Curt] ... but you're still a punk.
Curt Henderson: OK, John... So long... So long!
[Steve, Terry, Laurie and John wish Curt goodbye]
Terry Fields: Have a good trip!
Laurie Henderson: Bye, Curt. Good-bye!
Austin Powers: That's Dr. Evil's cat!
Vanessa Kensington: How can you tell?
Austin Powers: I never forget a pussy... cat.
Susan: Well, Ricky Bobby is not a thinker. Ricky Bobby is a driver. He is a do-er, and that's what you need to do. You don't need to think. You need to drive. You need speed. You need to go out there, and you need to rev your engine. You need to fire it up. You need to grab ahold of that line between speed and chaos, and you need to wrestle it to the ground like a demon cobra. And then, when the fear rises up in your belly, you use it. And you know that fear is powerful, because it has been there for billions of years! And it is good! And you use it! And you ride it; you ride it like a skeleton horse through the gates of hell, and then you win, Ricky! You WIN! And you don't win for anybody else. You win for you, you know why? Because a man takes what he wants. He takes it all. And you're a man, aren't you? Aren't you?!
Ricky: Susan, I've never heard you talk like that... Are we about to get it on? Because I'm as hard as a diamond in an ice storm right now.
Royal: The past six days have been the best six days of probably my whole life.
Narrator: Immediately after making this statement, Royal realized that it was true.