Popular Comedy Quotes
Julian Mercer: Look who's answering the door!
Harry Sanborn: Look who's at the door!
Sugar: I come from this musical family. My mother is a piano teacher and my father was a conductor.
Joe: Where did he conduct?
Sugar: On the Baltimore and Ohio.
Richard: Mr. Wilder here is quite the collegian. He's in his, what? sixth year?
Van Wilder: Actually, its lucky number seven.
Shtarker: Too bad about all the dead movie stars.
Siegfried: Yes. What will we do without their razor-sharp political advice.
It's the times. They are a-changin'. Something's blowing in the wind. Fetch me my diet pills, would you?Edna Turnblad
There is no way this winter is ever going to end as long as that groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any way out of it. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.Phil
I love you. And I'm about to boldly go where... many men have gone before.William Miller
[rehearsing his proposal lines to an older woman at the school]
Ben: To say I’m crazy about you doesn’t do you any justice. I adore you. I’m devoted to you. You would make me the luckiest man on the planet if you would be my wife.
Lunch Woman: Eh
Ben: What’s that mean, “eh”?
Tanya Peters: You're all man. I like that in my men.
Frank Drebin: You're coming on to me big time, sister. You're preying on me like a kitten with a fresh mouse. And we got a problem.
Tanya Peters: You're Jewish?
Frank Drebin: No. You're Rocko's girl, and in my book that chapter's called "look but don't touch."
Tanya Peters: I could have two lovers.
Frank Drebin: Kinky. But I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible.
He's gonna marry me.Sloane
Well, those cheeseburgers were only the beginning because a breakfast system is on its way to Swallow Falls. My forecast? Sunny... side up!Sam Sparks
At the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than being really, really good looking.Derek Zoolander