Popular Comedy Quotes
Dr. Gonzo: I have to go.
Raoul Duke: Go?
Dr. Gonzo: Yes. Leave the country. Tonight.
Raoul Duke: Calm down. You'll be straight in a few hours.
Dr. Gonzo: No. This is serious. One more hour in this town and I'll kill somebody!
["One Toke Over the Line" is playing on the radio] One toke? You poor fool! Wait till you see those goddamn bats.Raoul Duke
Dr. Gonzo: Music, man. Put that tape on.
Raoul Duke: What tape?
Dr. Gonzo: Jefferson Airplane, "White Rabbit." I need a rising sound.
Raoul Duke: You're doomed. I'm leaving here in two hours and then they're going to come up here and beat the mortal shit out of you with big saps. Right there in that fucking tub.
Yeah, right. Yup, I'm a homo. Yeah. Yeah. Just make up whatever you want and that's what happened. Okay? Write out my gay confession and I'll sign it. Okay? Just stop pushing me all the time. You're an infant, Jack. This is all a big party for you... but not for me.Miles Raymond
Kit: I smell something. Do you smell something?
Paula: Oh, Tripp and I had crab today.
Kit: No, that's not it. I smell... fun.
Kit: You are a dirty little fun-haver.
Kit: You couldn't be more wrong if you called it a Canadian Goose.
Ace: I'll give you a Canadian Goose.
Kit: Shut up, you whore!
Paula: [sipping champagne] Oh I'm sorry, was I sipping too loudly for you?
Kit: No, you were not sipping too loudly for me. It's that goddamn bird outside my goddamn window!
Kit: What the hell kind of devil bird chirps at night?
Paula: Listen, Tripp. I'm sorry... they paid me for the whole thing...
Tripp: [Handing $300 to Paula] Here's three hundred dollars... all I got in my wallet. That should cover your cost... I hope.
Paula: No, please...
Tripp: Get the fuck outta my car.
Well, everyone at work went to TGI Fridays, but I don't really like that place. Or anyone that I work with.Kit
Kit: Good news. It's Champagne Thursday.
Paula: It's Friday.
Kit: Uh, yeah, it came twice this week.
Paula: For the third straight week.
Kit: There's talk of making it permanent.
Paula: Oh, kind of like Daylight Saving's Time?
Kit: Right, but for booze.
You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?Al Czervik
[to the Dude] Keep your ugly fuckin' goldbrickin' ass out of my beach community.Malibu Police Chief