Tripp: [has just agreed to go out to lunch with her the next day] Hey, wait - tomorrow's Saturday.
Paula: [perplexed] ... Sometimes I eat on Saturday.

It's gonna take a stick of dynamite to get me out of my parents' house.

Tripp

My attorney had never been able to accept the notation, often espoused by former drug abusers, that you can get a lot higher without drugs than with them, and neither have I for that matter.

Raoul Duke

Ace: At least I'm not sponging off my parents so I can afford to get laid on every continent.
Demo: Whoa, whoa... I'm a ramblin' man, I'm a tumble weed, I'm a seeker of truth!

The tall one? He just got fired from Kinko's.

Paula

Tripp: Do you have real feelings?
Paula: Of course I have real feelings!
Tripp: For what?
Paula: For you! And believe me I did not want that because I had a good life before you. Well, not good... but... it was okay. Well... it was empty actually, but at least I was blissfully unaware of how miserable I was. Where as now... because of you... I am acutely aware of how completely and totally unhappy I am. Thank you for that.

I can't even get my cat to use the litter box.

Rita

[to Evan] I love you!... I mean, I think we should hang out socially... I have a new ping pong table.

Eugene

Why do you sound like Evan but look like a Bee Gee?

Rita

God: I now issue a new commandment: Thou shalt do the dance.

Wine Colored Tuxedo: I said there are no seats left sir, at any price.
Dr. Gonzo: Fuck seats! We're friends of Debbie's. I used to romp with her.

Buddy: Hi!
Deb: Hi!
Buddy: Do you remember me?
Deb: I do! I didn't recognize you!
Buddy: I know I'm in work clothes!

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