Popular Comedy Quotes
Dr. Gonzo: Music, man. Put that tape on.
Raoul Duke: What tape?
Dr. Gonzo: Jefferson Airplane, "White Rabbit." I need a rising sound.
Raoul Duke: You're doomed. I'm leaving here in two hours and then they're going to come up here and beat the mortal shit out of you with big saps. Right there in that fucking tub.
Rita: Evan, what happened? Did you fall in a mine shaft? Did you just come out of a coma?
Evan Baxter: No.
Rita: Were you attacked by a werewolf?
Evan Baxter: No, I wasn't.
Yeah, right. Yup, I'm a homo. Yeah. Yeah. Just make up whatever you want and that's what happened. Okay? Write out my gay confession and I'll sign it. Okay? Just stop pushing me all the time. You're an infant, Jack. This is all a big party for you... but not for me.Miles Raymond
Remy: [observing what Emile is eating] What is that?
Emile: [pause] I don't really know.
Remy: You dunno... and you're eating it?
Emile: You know, once you muscle your way past the gag reflex, all kinds of possibilities open up.
Remy: This is what I'm talking about.
[to Remy] You were the one getting fancy with the spices!Linguini
Food always comes to those who love to cook.Gusteau
You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?Al Czervik
Gusteau: You know what I say. Anyone can cook.
Remy: Yeah, anyone can cook. That doesn't mean anyone should.
[to the Dude] Keep your ugly fuckin' goldbrickin' ass out of my beach community.Malibu Police Chief
Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away.Hitch
Come on you fiend!Raoul Duke
Dr. Gonzo: Hey honkies. You guys wanna buy some heroin? Goddamnit, I'm serious. I want to sell you some pure fucking smack! This is the real stuff! I just got back from Vietnam. Ahahaha... scag! I wanna sell you some pure fucking smack... Pure... fuck...
Man in Car: Goddammit you bastards! Pull over! I'll kill you I'll kill you! Pull over, come on!