Popular Comedy Quotes
The space goes down, down baby, down, down the roller coaster. Sweet, sweet baby, sweet, sweet, don't let me go. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. I met a girlfriend - a triscuit. She said, a triscuit - a biscuit. Ice cream, soda pop, vanilla on the top. Ooh, Shelly's out, walking down the street, ten times a week. I read it. I said it. I stole my momma's credit. I'm cool. I'm hot. Sock me in the stomach three more times.Josh and Billy
Scotty Brennen: See that girl over there in the red? Say "hi" to her and she's yours. She'll have her legs around you so tight you'll be begging for mercy.
Josh: Well, I'll stay away from her, then.
[in Korean] Oy vey. Mom's ass is so tight, it's vacuum sealed.Sung Mi
Daphne Wilder: I say marriage, you say...
Transvestite: Vera Wang.
Mae: Mom, why do you always wear the high tops?
Daphne Wilder: I just got these, what's wrong with these?
Maggie: There just kinda depressing.
Milly: Mom for your 60th birthday we'll buy you something beautiful, something that grandma Moses would not wear.
You're not a helicopter, mom. Quit hovering.Mae
Sara: So, you kinda like me, huh?
Hitch: No. I love you.
Daphne Wilder: What? Three times? Is that... is that normal?
Mae: Oh, come on. We all know I hold the record in this family.
Albert: Honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. I'm going out of my mind. I want to throw myself off every building in New York. I see a cab and I want to dive in front of it because that way I'll stop thinking about her.
Hitch: You will just give it time.
Albert: That's just it. I don't want to I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. If this is the only way I can stay connected with her then this is who I have to be.
Daphne Wilder: Well, who would you choose for my daughter?
Daphne Wilder: What? No way!
Johnny: Why not?
Daphne Wilder: Oh, please. I am not setting my daughter up with an attractive, charming musician who will just break her heart.
Johnny: Wow. Thank you for turning me into a societal clichÃ©.
Come here, little one. Poppy wants to see you.Papa Elf
He called me a baboon, he thinks I'm his wife.Al Czervik