Popular Comedy Quotes
Wheeler: [sits down] What up, Ronnie?
Ronnie: I don't wanna take my pants off!
Wheeler: [stunned] What?
Are you seeing planes? Is your name Tattoo? Because I swear to God, you're living on Fantasy Island.Doug Butabi
Lloyd: The first time I set eyes on Mary Swanson, I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling where I'd do anything to bone her.
Harry: That's a special feeling, Lloyd.
I love Dick!Arlene Lorenzo
Miles Logan: Put your hands on the Oodles of Noodles.
Tulley: Chicken or beef?
Miles Logan: Chicken.
Cher: Been shopping with Dr. Suess?
Dionne: Well at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my back pack.
Cher: It's faux.
Girls don't pay - guys pay!Debbie Dunham
Let's go junior high on them.Chuck Levine
Judge B. Bennet Galloway: Mr. Jackson, six months ago you were caught shoplifting at a Stop 'N Shop, with a box full of Ding Dongs and a six pack of Banana Strawberry Boone's Farm.
LeeJohn: Uh, your honor, it was Goober Grape.
Judge B. Bennet Galloway: When the arresting officer searched you, he found a twenty dollar bill in your pocket. Why didn't you just pay for it?
LeeJohn: Because this dude named Bo-Peep was on my ass about twenty dollars and I...
Mac MacGuff: Did you see that coming?
Bren: Yeah... but I was hoping she was expelled, or into hard drugs.
Mac MacGuff: Or DWI... anything but this.
Ed: See? You don't need Liz to have a good time.
Shaun: Oh, don't, man.
Ed: No! Go ahead, look at me. Can I just say one more thing? I'm not gonna say, you know, there's plenty more fish in the sea. I'm not going to say if you love her, let her go. And I'm not going to bombard you with clichÃˆs. But what I will say is this?
Ed: It's not the end of the world.