Peter's another name for weaner.

Steve Barker

Thomas: JIMMY! Can I have your autograph?
Jimmy: Get it off eBay!
Thomas: Who is eBay?

Otto: Don't call me stupid.
Wendy: Why on earth not?

Otto: [puts a bag over Archie's head] Hello, Mr. Burglar! Going somewhere? Thought you could rob Mr. Leach, eh? Well, I'm going to teach you a lesson!
[kicks him in the stomach]
Otto: He just happens to be a very good friend of mine!
Archie: Otto! Otto! Otto!
Otto: [comes back with a long-handled pan] And he's going to be very pleased with me to find you here, all tied up and ready for the police!
[knocks Archie out with a pan]
Otto: And don't call me "Otto." To you, I am "Mr...”
[stops, lifts bag, sees it's Archie, screams]
Otto: Oh, my God... Oh... Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[pats Archie's face]
Otto: Please, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you. How could I know it was you? I mean, how could you expect me to guess? Stupid jerk! I mean, what the fuck were you doing *robbing* your *own house?*
[kicks Archie in the stomach]
Otto: You asshole! You stupid, stiff, pompous, English...!
[screams and recoils]
Otto: I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Uh... uh... yeah.
[runs]

We didn't lose Vietnam. It was a tie!

Otto

Wanda: Let's make love.
Archie: Well, if you absolutely insist...

Wanda: I want you to know something Otto.
Otto: What?
Wanda: Even if you were my brother I'd still want to fuck you.

Airline Employee: Aisle or window, smoking or non?
Otto: What was the part in the middle?

The central message of Buddhism is not "every man for himself."

Wanda

I love watching your ass when you walk. Is that beautiful or what? Don't go near him, he's mine.

Otto

Gimbel's Manager: Six-inch ribbon curls, Honey.
Jovie: That's impossible.
Gimbel's Manager: Six inches!

This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.

Carl Spackler

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