Popular Comedy Quotes
Peter's another name for weaner.Steve Barker
[shouting, smashing car with golf club] This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!Walter Sobchak
John Beckwith: Get up, you're making us look like pussies.
Jeremy Grey: If I had any air in my lungs I'd scream at you.
Hitch: [talking about when kissing going 90 per cent then he goes 10] All right show me the magic.
[going to kiss Hitch]
Hitch: [after being kissed] What the hell?
Albert: Well, you said show me the magic
Hitch: Yeah, but you go 90 then I go 10. You don't go the whole hundred, you over-eager son of a... BLECH!
Like I always tell my clients - begin each day as if it were on purpose.Hitch
Wanda: Let's make love.
Archie: Well, if you absolutely insist...
Wanda: I want you to know something Otto.
Wanda: Even if you were my brother I'd still want to fuck you.
Airline Employee: Aisle or window, smoking or non?
Otto: What was the part in the middle?
The central message of Buddhism is not "every man for himself."Wanda
I love watching your ass when you walk. Is that beautiful or what? Don't go near him, he's mine.Otto
Because that's what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because otherwise you just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the *hell* did I jump? But here I am, Sarah, falling, and the only one that makes me feel like I can fly... is you.Hitch
Jedediah: Fire up the iron horse, boys.
Larry: Hey, blondie!
Jedediah: Names Jedadiah.
Larry: Jedadiah, stop the train, please!
Jedediah: No can do, crackerjack.
Larry: Whats going on here?
Jedediah: Somebodys got to pay.
Larry: Pay for what?
Jedediah: I don't know, just pay! Now stop whining and take it like a man!
Larry: Seriously, stop the train!
Jedediah: Alright, stop the train.
Larry: Thank you.
Jedediah: NOW FULL SPEED AHEAD AND RAM HIM! SPLIT HIS HEAD LIKE A WATERMELON!
Larry: [Train hits Larry] Ooh! Ow...
Jedediah: Oh, for crying out loud!