Popular Comedy Quotes
Wanda: What have you found out?
Otto: Not a lot.
Wanda: You realise he's in court tomorrow?
Otto: I know. I know that!
Wanda: So nothing, huh?
Otto: Nix. Zip. Diddly. Bupkis. Niente.
Wanda: You just wanted to get me into bed.
Archie: I fell in love with you.
Wanda: How come you dumped me then.
Archie: I wasn't rich enough, remember.
Wanda: Say something in Russian.
Otto: Look, you obviously don't know anything about intelligence work, lady. It's an X-K-Red-27 technique.
Wendy: My father was in the Secret Service, Mr. Manfredjinsinjin, and I know perfectly well that you don't keep the general public informed when you are "debriefing KGB defectors in a safe house."
Well, would you like to know what you'd be without us, the good ol' U.S. of A. to protect you? I'll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that's what. So don't call me stupid, lady. Just thank me.Otto
In some circles, the Mint 400 is a far far better thing than the superbowl, the Kentucky Derby, and the lower Oakland roller derby finals all rolled into one.Raoul Duke
Archie: Your brother didn't bring you here this time, did he?
Archie: He's no idea?
Wanda: He doesn't have a clue.
Wanda: He's so dumb...
Wanda: ...he thought that the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived.
Gimbel's Manager: Six-inch ribbon curls, Honey.
Jovie: That's impossible.
Gimbel's Manager: Six inches!
Pork away pal. Fuck her blue.Otto
Wendy: Your father has finally gone completely mental!
Otto: So the old lady's gonna m-m-m-meet with an accident eh K-K-K-K-Ken?
Wanda: Get the fuck out of here, Otto.
Otto: Relax. I heard moaning; I was worried.
This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.Carl Spackler
John Beckwith: Hey, listen. What angle are you going to play here?
Jeremy Grey: I am going to go with the balloon animal display. For the kids. And then when she comes near, guess who is the broken man, haunted past? How about you?
John Beckwith: I am going to go dance with the little flower girl. Oh, and I might be a charter member of Oprah's book club.
Jeremy Grey: It's all deadly.