You're a very attractive man, Ken. You're... smart, you've got wonderful bones, and you dress really interestingly.

Otto

I love robbing the English, they're so polite.

Otto

Dr. Gonzo: Hello? Hi Lucy, God bless. Yeah it's me. What? I dont know, I taught that bastard a lesson he'll never forget. What? No, not dead. But he won't be bothering anybody for a while. Yeah, I left him out there. I stomped him. I pulled all his teeth out.
Raoul Duke: I remember thinking 'Jesus, what a terrible thing to lay on someone with a head full of acid'.
Dr. Gonzo: But we have a problem. That bastard cashed a bad cheque downstairs and gave you as a reference. They'll be looking for both of you. Yeah I know. You can't judge a book by it's cover... some people are just basically rotten. Well the last thing in the world you want to do is call this hotel again. They'll trace the call and put you straight behind bars. Yeah I'm moving to the tropicana right away... when I get a room I'll let you know which one it is... I gotta get off. They probably have this phone tapped baby... Yeah I know it's horrible but it's all over now.

Otto: You really like animals don't you, Ken? What's the attraction.
Ken: Well, you can t-t-trust them and they don't sh-sh-sh-sh
Otto: Shit on you?
Ken: Shove off all the t-time.

[after teaching Jack how to evaluating a glass of wine prior to tasting] ... Are you chewing gum?

Miles Raymond

I looked at the clock... because I was saying to myself... It's five to seven, where could he be going with that sawed off shotgun?

Wanda

Archie: You're going to shoot me?
Otto: [in a pompous, English accent] Yep, 'fraid so, ol' chap! Sorry!

Roger that Burt, and congratulations. Be advised, however, that there are two more, repeat, two more motherhumpers.

Valentine McKee

I can't believe we said no to free beer!

Valentine McKee

Earl Bassett: Is this a job for an intelligent man?
Valentine McKee: Well, show me one and I'll ask him.

Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? [Sees judge Smalls in the same hat] Oh, it looks good on you though.

Al Czervik

That's right, Dude, they peed on your fucking rug.

Walter Sobchak

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