Popular Comedy Quotes
You will have long blonde hair, big green eyes, world class breasts, ass that won't quit and legs that go all the way up.Valentine McKee
Did you notice anything weird a minute ago?Rhonda LeBeck
This valley is just one long smorgasboard.Valentine McKee
[to the dead Graboid, which he shot several thousand times] Guess you broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't ya!Burt Gummer
Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter. Bomb shelter! Underground... God damn monsters.Burt Gummer
Earl Bassett: Dammit, Valentine! You never go for any girl unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.
Valentine McKee: Well, sure.
Earl Bassett: Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end! Like that Bobbie Lynn Dexter.
Valentine McKee: Tammy Lynn Baxter!
Earl Bassett: Doesn't matter. They're all the same: dead weight. "Ooh, I broke a nail!" Ugh! Makes my skin crawl.
Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, I'm a victim of circumstance.
Earl Bassett: I thought you called it your pecker.
Total control now. Tooling along the main drag on a Saturday night in Vegas. Two good old boys in a fire-apple red convertible. Stoned. Ripped. Twisted. Good people.Raoul Duke
[to Rhonda] GET OUT OF YOUR PANTS!Valentine McKee
Emily: [tries some of Buddy's spaghetti with syrup] Oh, that's good.
Well, there sure as hell ain't nothing to stop us now... everybody we know between here and Bixbe's already dead.Earl Bassett
You scurvy shiester bastard. I'm a doctor of journalism man! Get in there and clean your shorts! Clean your shorts goddammit like a big boy!Raoul Duke
Dr. Gonzo: This is it. Lacerda. Room 208.
Raoul Duke: [eyes askance] Huh? Lacerda?
Dr. Gonzo: Yeah, man. Lacerda...
Raoul Duke: [narrating] I couldn't remember. The name rang a bell but I couldn't concentrate. Terrible things were happening all around me.