Earl Bassett: What kind of fuse is that?
Burt Gummer: Cannon fuse.
Earl Bassett: What the hell do you use it for?
Burt Gummer: My cannon!

Earl Bassett: Dammit, I'm gonna kick his ass!
Valentine McKee: I'm gonna help you.

Doug Madsen: You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?
Charley: Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet! For arms training they just told us to play Doom!

Earl Bassett: Must be a million of them!
Valentine McKee: Nope, just one!

Emily: You like sugar, huh?
Buddy: Is there sugar in syrup?
Emily: Yes.
Buddy: Then YES!

Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do once a plan fails!

Earl Bassett

Ty Webb: Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're not being the ball Danny.
Danny Noonan: It's hard when you're talking like that.

Valentine McKee: Good luck, shithead.
Earl Bassett: Don't worry about me, jerkoff.

I have a girlfriend, beat that out of me, bitch.

Dudley Frank

Good morning Mr. Bassett, this is your wake up call. Please move your ass.

Valentine McKee

Kit: You couldn't be more wrong if you called it a Canadian Goose.
Ace: I'll give you a Canadian Goose.

Kit: I smell something. Do you smell something?
Paula: Oh, Tripp and I had crab today.
Kit: No, that's not it. I smell... fun.
Paula: What?
Kit: You are a dirty little fun-haver.

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