Popular Comedy Quotes
Earl Bassett: What kind of fuse is that?
Burt Gummer: Cannon fuse.
Earl Bassett: What the hell do you use it for?
Burt Gummer: My cannon!
Earl Bassett: Dammit, I'm gonna kick his ass!
Valentine McKee: I'm gonna help you.
Doug Madsen: You're the sheriff, aren't you going out there?
Charley: Hey, I took my law enforcement course on the internet! For arms training they just told us to play Doom!
Earl Bassett: Must be a million of them!
Valentine McKee: Nope, just one!
Emily: You like sugar, huh?
Buddy: Is there sugar in syrup?
Emily: Yes.
Buddy: Then YES!
Run for it? Running's not a plan! Running's what you do once a plan fails!
Earl Bassett
Ty Webb: Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're not being the ball Danny.
Danny Noonan: It's hard when you're talking like that.
Valentine McKee: Good luck, shithead.
Earl Bassett: Don't worry about me, jerkoff.
I have a girlfriend, beat that out of me, bitch.
Dudley Frank
Good morning Mr. Bassett, this is your wake up call. Please move your ass.
Valentine McKee
Kit: You couldn't be more wrong if you called it a Canadian Goose.
Ace: I'll give you a Canadian Goose.
Kit: I smell something. Do you smell something?
Paula: Oh, Tripp and I had crab today.
Kit: No, that's not it. I smell... fun.
Paula: What?
Kit: You are a dirty little fun-haver.
