Popular Comedy Quotes
Prince Humperdinck: I think your bluffing.
Westley: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
I'll have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat and the speed of a mongoose. Throw it. I DARE YOU!
Ace
Louis: Looking good, Billy Ray!
Billy Ray: Feeling good, Louis!
General Aladeen: You're an Apple Genius, so what do you do?
Nadal: Mostly I clean semen out of laptops.
A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack?
Wayne Campbell
Alan Garner: Can I ask you another question?
Lisa: Sure.
Alan Garner: You probably get this a lot. This isn't the real Caesar's Palace is it?
Lisa: What do you mean?
Alan Garner: Did, umm... did Caesar live here?
Lisa: No.
Alan Garner: I didn't think so.
Damn skippy!
Stephanie Plum
Dry land is not a myth. I've seen it. Kevin Costner. Waterworld. I don't know what the big fuss is about. I saw that movie nine times. It rules!
Chip Douglas
Austin Powers: Hey! There you are!
Tourist: Hi... do I know you?
Austin Powers: No, but that's where you are! You're there!
[holding gun] I feel like American movie star Dirty Harold... Go ahead, make my day, Jew...
Borat
Jake: How often does the train go by?
Elwood: So often that you won't even notice it.
Jerry: I love you!
Audrey: Thank you
Jerry: Well, that's wasn't exactly the answer I was hoping for...
Audrey: Thank you very much?
