
Popular Comedy Quotes
Leon the Snowman: By the way don't eat the yellow snow.
Buddy: Oh, I know that.
I'm dead. I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I died, I'm dead.
Marlin
Anything happens to my daughter, I got a .45 and a shovel, I doubt anybody would miss you.
Mel
I'm going to suck your dick like I'm mad at it.
Elizabeth Halsey
Saul: No... I see. The monkey's out of the bottle now!
Dale Denton: What? That's not even.. a figure of speech.
Saul: Pandora can't go back into the box, he only comes out.
Lloyd: What's the matter, Har? Some little filly break your heart?
Harry: No, it was a girl.
Ed Rooney: What's the score?
Pizza Joint Owner: Nothin' nothin'.
Ed Rooney: [not really listening] Who's winning?
Pizza Joint Owner: The Bears.
Farva: Don't call me radio, unit 91.
Mac: Then don't call me unit 91, radio.
Farva: Are you done?
I like the smell of my hair treatment; the pleasing odor is half the point.
Ulysses Everett McGill
Seth: Look at those nipples.
Evan: They're like little baby toes. It's just not fair that they get to flaunt that stuff, you know... and like, I have to hide every erection I get.
Shrek: Um... Fiona?
Princess Fiona: Yes, Shrek?
Shrek: I... I love you.
Princess Fiona: Really?
Shrek: Really, really!
Shrek: Mmmm... I love you too.
Donkey: You love this woman, don't ya?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Do you wanna hold her?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Please her?
Shrek: Yes.
Donkey: Then ya gotta, gotta try a little tenderness! Chicks love that romantic crap.