Doug Madsen: Look, guys, sign at the curve of the road!
Bobby Davis: Madrid.
Woody Stevens: Spain?

Doug Madsen: Remember the theme of this trip, whenever wherever?
Woody Stevens: Oh, fine, whatever. We'll stay the night and get gas in the morning. Okay?
Doug Madsen: Fine, I just don't understand what the rush is.
Woody Stevens: There's no rush! I just wanna ride, just ride Sally ride. You are so weird! You ask some weird shit and say the weirdest things. Why don't you just, what, what?

Earl Bassett: [digging out the dead graboid] There's no way Walter Chang's getting his slick mitts on this for no 15 bucks.
Valentine McKee: You got that right!

Valentine McKee: [speaking to Burt over a radio] Burt, it's under the ground! It's an underground monster!
Burt Gummer: God Almighty!

Chuck Levine: What do you got?
Larry Valentine: Maxi Pads.
Chuck Levine: What, do we have vaginas now? Put it back!

The only thing I'm doing with my eyes is putting a bag over your head, you toothless moron!

Chuck Levine

Chuck Levine: Would you wear a yarmulke? It would make my mother proud.
Larry Valentine: I'm not wearing a yarmulke. Come on.
Chuck Levine: I'm Jewish. I don't want to piss my mother off.
Larry Valentine: Yeah? Well, I'm Catholic. I don't want to piss Mel Gibson off.

Let's go junior high on them.

Chuck Levine

I am going to be SO pissed if it doesn't.

Evan Baxter

Now place the ring on his hand. A ring is like a circle, it goes on forever. It's not like a triangle, triangle have three sides, it's like a circle.

Japanese Priest

First we'll make snow angels for a two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse Cookiedough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle.

Buddy

Chicken! September 22nd would be a good day for chicken!

Evan Baxter

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