Popular Comedy Quotes
Woman, this is all your fault. Come bargin' in here like a friggin' moose.Kenny Fisher
This looks kinda... precarious. Well nothing to worry, obviously when they build a bridge like this they take into account that elephants will be crossing here.Horton
Mike Erganian: What is the subject of your book? Non fiction?
Miles Raymond: Uh, no. It's... it's a novel. Fiction. Yes. Although there is quite a bit from my own life... so I suppose that, technically some of it is nonfiction.
Mike Erganian: Good I like non fiction. There is so much to know about this world. I think you read something somebody just invented, waste of time.
Miles Raymond: That's an interesting perspective.
Ooh, a cottage! How charming. A little cottage is always very snug.Fanny
Kurt: "He looks like James Bond!"
Dale: "He really does, dude! I bet he carries one of those guns that you screw together...like the coolest guns they make, man!"
Nick: "This is so dangerous - what if that's an undercover cop? Or better yet, what if it's the real thing and he charges so much money, we can't afford it, he gets pissed off and kills us!"
Dale: "That's not gonna...he kills one of us?! Hold on - could that happen?"
(Not a Hitman knocks)
Nick: "Gotta let him in now."
Kurt: "How's my hair?"
Nick: "What do you mean, how's my hair?!"
Kurt: "It doesn't matter...okay, let's do this."
When you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara.Fran Kubelik
Harry, you're going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.Sally Albright
Mom. You're so fifties.Tracy Turnblad
Rosemary Cross: How did I hurt your feelings?
Max Fischer: Oh, my God! I wrote a hit play!
John Clasky: Just do it or I'll light my hair on fire and start punching myself in the face!
[Walks away, reconsiders]
John Clasky: That probably wasn't the best way to get make myself clear, was it?
Larry, we're not electing the fucking Pope here. Just tell me who won.Jim McAllister
Franny: Wilbur, what have you done? How could you bring HIM here?
Wilbur: That... is an excellent question.