Popular Comedy Quotes
Cher's saving herself for Luke Perry.Dionne
[seeking a match for her teacher] Unfortunately, There was a major babe drought at my school. The evil trolls from the math department were actually married and in the grand tradition of P.E. teachers, Ms. Stoger seemed to be same-sex oriented.Cher
I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own. Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I'd never be tardy.Travis
Oh boy. How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus.The Dude
Dee, when your allergies act up, take out your nose ring.Cher
Travis: I joined this program and there's steps. There's... uh...
Travis: Yeah, how'd you know?
Cher: Wild guess.
Tai: Why should I listen to you, anyway? You're a virgin who can't drive.
Cher: That was way harsh, Tai.
Cher: Would you call me selfish?
Dionne: No, not to your face.
Mel: So, what did you do in school today?
Cher: Well, I broke in my purple clogs.
Cher: Are you talking about drugs?
Cher: Tai, how old are you?
Tai: I'll be 16 in May.
Cher: My birthday is in April and as someone older, can I please give you some advice? It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day.
You better take care of me, Lord. If you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.Raoul Duke
Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.