Popular Comedy Quotes
Miles Finch: [pitching ideas] No tomatoes. Too vulnerable. Kids, they're already vulnerable.
Walter: See, I told you guys. I told them the same thing...
Miles Finch: And no farms. Everyone's pushing small town rural. A farm book would just be white noise.
Dionne: Phat! Did you write that?
Cher: Duh. It's like a famous quote.
Dionne: From where?
Cher: Cliff's Notes.
Oh boy. How ya gonna keep 'em down on the farm once they've seen Karl Hungus.The Dude
I was just totally clueless!Cher Horowitz
Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensembly challenged"?Cher
So like, right now for example. The Haitians need to come to America. But some people are all, "What about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'. I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier. And so if the government could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Haitians. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Liberty. Thank you very much.Cher
Dionne and I were both named after famous singers of the past, who now do infomercials.Cher
Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.Cher
Josh: You want to practice parking?
Cher: What's the point? Everywhere you go has valet.
Daddy's a litigator. Those are the scariest kind of lawyer. Even Lucy, our maid, is terrified of him. And daddy's so good he gets $500 an hour to fight with people. But he fights with me for free because I'm his daughter.Cher
You better take care of me, Lord. If you don't you're gonna have me on your hands.Raoul Duke
Buddy: We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.