Popular Comedy Quotes
Looks like we're gonna have to make a cameo at the Val party.Cher
Tai: Hey, did you see that?
Cher: Ugh. Skateboards. That's like so five years ago.
It's like that book I read in the 9th grade that said "'tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people."Cher
Well, that's the last we should be hearing from Lucy man. She's probably stuffing herself down the incinerator about now. You know what we need? We need some opium.Dr. Gonzo
I am totally butt crazy in love with Josh!Cher
Cher: "Second notice on an outstanding ticket." I don't remember getting a first notice.
Mel: The TICKET is the first notice.
Ahh! Ahh! I'm innocent! It was Duke! It was Duke!Dr. Gonzo
[inaudible screaming, grunting] Ahh! Ahh! Don't put that thing on me! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!
Mel: Which reminds me, where's your report card?
Cher: It's not ready yet.
Mel: What do you mean, "it's not ready yet?"
Cher: Well, some teachers are trying to low-ball me, Daddy. And I know how you say, "Never accept a first offer", so I figure these grades are just a jumping off point to start negotiations.
Murray: Where you been all weekend? What's up? You been jeepin' behind my back?
Dionne: Jeepin'? Jeepin'? No. But, speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain how this cheap K-Mart hair extension got into the backseat of your car.
Murray: I don't know where that came from. That looks like one of your little stringy somethin' or an others you got over here.
Dionne: I do not wear polyester hair, okay? Unlike some people I know like Shawana.
Cher: Dee, I'm outty.
Murray: Why do you got to go there? Why do you gotta go there? Is it that time of the month again?
AS IF. I am only 16, and this is California, not Kentucky.Cher
Consult your doctor before using this product. Side effects may include oily discharge, hives, loss of appetite, low blood pressure. If you have diabetes or a history of kidney trouble, you're dead, asshole!Jack
Oh my god... there's someone at the door. There's someone at the door!Dr. Gonzo