Popular Comedy Quotes
I'd like you to close your eyes now, and I'd like you to try something, all right? Now what are you thinkin', what are you feeling right now, with your eyes closed?Corky St. Clair
[turning to Columbus, Wichita and Little Rock after a zombie] What do you think? "Zombie Killer of the Week"?Tallahassee
Come on Stevie, time to leavey, It's the fun bus man!Chip Douglas
Bianca: But she's a mutant! What if she never dates?
Walter Stratford: Then you'll never date. Oh, I like that.
Mr. Morgan: Get outta my class.
Kat Stratford: What?
Mr. Morgan: Out. Get out!
Joey: Thanks, Mr. Morgan.
Mr. Morgan: Shut up!
I couldn't believe that she knew my name. Some of my best friends didn't know my name.Ted
You can cross that one off your bucket list.Mrs. Stainer
Charlotte A. Cavatica: [climbs down to Ike's face]
Ike: Please, don't hurt me.
Charlotte A. Cavatica: Well, since you said please. Hehe.
Peyton Kelly: My mom says that she fell in love with you because you played guitar and you sounded like Elvis.
Joe Kingman: Really?
Joe Kingman: Well what do you think?
Peyton Kelly: I think my mom was tone deaf and you sound more like an injured moose.
Carter: How would we even recognize Juntao, none of us never saw him.
Lee: I have, he killed my partner.
Oh, you fucking guy!Erica Barry
I have been a priest over 40 years, and I fell in love at least once every decade.Father Havel