Popular Comedy Quotes
I'm like the dumb girl that doesn't get it. I've never been the dumb girl before. It ain't so great.Erica Barry
Marin: We know this about me. I'm just not cut out for this kind of drama.
Erica Barry: I think it's the drama in life that makes you strong.
Marin: You always say things like that!
Buddy: Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas Carol.
Jovie: No way.
Harry Sanborn: Some people consider rap poetry.
Erica Barry: C'mon, how many words can you rhyme with bitch?
Hey, doll. Could you scare up another round for our table over here? And tell the cook this is low grade dog food. I've had better food at the ballgame, you know? This steak still has marks from where the jockey was hitting it.Al Czervik
Harry: [after a kiss] Soft lips.
Erica: I'm so glad they still work. I haven't used them for kissing in such a long time, more like for wearing lipstick... and whistling.
Younger Cop: And was there anything of value in the car?
The Dude: Oh, uh, yeah, uh... a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was a, uh... uh, my briefcase.
Younger Cop: [expectant pause] In the briefcase?
The Dude: Uh, uh, papers, um, just papers, uh, you know, uh, my papers, business papers.
Younger Cop: And what do you do, sir?
The Dude: I'm unemployed.
Oh, you fucking guy!Erica Barry
Share that with the Dalai Lama, jack ass!Jeremy Grey
Harry: [as Eric tries to call the cops, believing he is an intruder] You don't understand... I'm dating your daughter!
Erica Barry: Oh my God! You're dating my daughter?
Harry: Now who would have thought that was worse news?
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g's, and fast heel-toe work.Raoul Duke
A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip.Raoul Duke