Popular Comedy Quotes
Younger Cop: And was there anything of value in the car?
The Dude: Oh, uh, yeah, uh... a tape deck, some Creedence tapes, and there was a, uh... uh, my briefcase.
Younger Cop: [expectant pause] In the briefcase?
The Dude: Uh, uh, papers, um, just papers, uh, you know, uh, my papers, business papers.
Younger Cop: And what do you do, sir?
The Dude: I'm unemployed.
Cody's around here somewhere, I can feel it in my nuggets!Chicken Joe
Share that with the Dalai Lama, jack ass!Jeremy Grey
Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g's, and fast heel-toe work.Raoul Duke
My brother was the big egg, I was the little egg.Cody Maverick
Filmmaker: Do you have any other talents?
Cody Maverick: Heh, you mean like, singin' and dancin'? Naw, man, I just surf.
Lani Aliikai: [Cody and Lani wash off under a waterfall] Can I ask you something personal?
Cody Maverick: Lani, we're in the shower! Ask me whatever you want.
You know, we've known each other way back since, like... yesterday, I think it was.Chicken Joe
The stress is killing me.Mikey Abromowitz
You wouldn't believe the amount of migraine medication I'm on..Mikey Abromowitz
A drug person can learn to cope with things like seeing their dead grandmother crawling up their leg with a knife in her teeth. But no one should be asked to handle this trip.Raoul Duke
[answers phone] Buddy the Elf! What's your favorite color?Buddy