Popular Comedy Quotes
Alyssa: Fuck you.
Banky Edwards: Not even if you let me tape it
Banky Edwards: Alright, now see this? This is a four-way road, OK? And dead in the center is a crisp, new, hundred dollar bill. Now, at the end of each of these streets are four people, OK? Are you following?
Banky Edwards: Good. Over here, we have a male-affectionate, easy to get along with, non-political agenda lesbian. Down here, we have a man-hating, angry as fuck, agenda of rage, bitter dyke. Over here, we got Santa Claus, and up here the Easter Bunny. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first?
Holden: What is this supposed to prove?
Banky Edwards: No, I'm serious. This is a serious exercise. It's like an SAT question. Which one is going to get to the hundred dollar bill first? The male-friendly lesbian, the man-hating dyke, Santa Claus, or the Easter bunny?
Holden: The man-hating dyke.
Banky Edwards: Good. Why?
Holden: I don't know.
Banky Edwards: Because the other three are figments of your fucking imagination!
Mother of God, there I am! Holy fuck...Raoul Duke
I love you, I always will. Know that. But I'm not your fucking whore.Alyssa
We know what you're up to man.Dr. Gonzo
Holden: So, uh, what do you wanna do tonight?
Banky Edwards: I dunno. Get a pizza, watch "Degrassi Jr. High."
Holden: You got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama.
Banky Edwards: I got a weird thing for girls who say, "Aboot."
Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?Silent Bob
One minute and five seconds; you are such my bitch.Alyssa
Alyssa: Let me ask you something. Can men fuck each other?
Banky Edwards: What, are you asking for my permission?
Alyssa: In your estimation.
Banky Edwards: Yeah, sure.
Alyssa: So for you, to fuck means to penetrate. You're used to the more traditional definition. You, inside some girl you duped, jackhammering away, not noticing the bored look in her eyes.
Banky Edwards: Hey, I always notice the bored look in their eyes.
[to Alyssa] Since you like chicks, right, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?Banky Edwards
Try to be your normal, humorous self. The guy you were before the tailspin. Do you remember that guy? People love that guy.Jack
Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.Al Czervik