Karl Benson: Hey man, I thought you killed yourself.
Andrew Largeman: What?
Karl Benson: I thought you killed yourself. That wasn't you?
Andrew Largeman: No, no, tha-that wasn't me.

That bastard isn't gonna get away with this. I mean, what is going on in this country when a scumsucker like that can get away with sandbagging a doctor of journalism?

Raoul Duke

Max Fischer: So you were in Vietnam?
Herman Blume: Yeah.
Max Fischer: Were you in the shit?
Herman Blume: Yeah, I was in the shit.

You see - comedy. Love, and a bit with a dog. That's what they want.

Philip Henslowe

Ian Faith: They're not gonna release the album... because they have decided that the cover is sexist.
Nigel Tufnel: Well, so what? What's wrong with bein' sexy? I mean there's no...
Ian Faith: Sex-IST!
David St. Hubbins: IST!

You risked the lives of some damn fine pilots... and that's my job!

Admiral Benson

Eirik: I can't see! I can't see!
Ray: Of course you can't see! I just a shot a blank in your fucking eyes!

Alyssa: And while I was falling for you I put a ceiling on that, because you werfe a guy. Until I remembered why I opened the door to women in the first place: to not limit the likelihood of finding one person who'd complement me so completely. So here we are. I was thorough when I looked for you. And I feel justified lying in your arms, 'cause I got here on my own terms, and I have no question there was some place I didn't look. And for me that makes all the difference.

"Due to our tight fiscal situation, we regret to inform you we are still going to have to close your station. Good luck in Sherbune, John. And give your men my best. Sincerely, Governor Fuckhead."

Captain O'Hagan

Once there was a magical elf who lived in a rainbow tree / He lived downstairs from a flatulent dwarf who constantly had to pee.


Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man.

Lotte Schwartz

[comes flying in a leather suit and the police men are looking at him] What? It's a little tight.


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