Popular Comedy Quotes
Woody: [yelling through the heat duct] Buzz, help.
Stinky Pete the Prospector: It's too late, Woody. That silly old Buzz Lightweight can't help.
Woody: His name is Buzz Lightyear.
Stinky Pete the Prospector: Whatever. I always hated those upstart space toys.
To mail six packages to Japan overnight is how much? That's in yen? DOLLARS? Oh, you people are deliberately taking advantage of people in a hurry, you know that?Al McWiggin
Alien toys: You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful.
Mr. Potato Head: Will you just leave me alone?
Mr. Potato Head: Can we stop? My parts are killing me.
Buzz Lightyear: How about a quick roll call? Everybody here?
Mr. Potato Head: Not everybody.
Buzz Lightyear: Who's behind?
Slinky Dog: Mine...
Uh, ma - ma'am? I, uh, um, well, I just wanted to say you're a bright young woman with a beautiful yarn full of hair. A hair full of yarn. It's ah... um... I must go.Buzz Lightyear
To Al's Toy Barn... and beyond.Buzz Lightyear
Buzz, Buzz! My backend's going to Baton Rouge!Slinky Dog
Buzz Lightyear #2: Will somebody *please* explain what's going on?
Buzz Lightyear: It's allright, space ranger. It's a code 546
Buzz Lightyear #2: [gasps] You mean it's a...
Buzz Lightyear: Yes.
Buzz Lightyear #2: And he's a...
Buzz Lightyear: Oh, yeah.
[Buzz #2 runs over to Woody and gets down on his knees]
Buzz Lightyear #2: Your Majesty.
Step right up and shoot the pasties off the nipples of a ten foot bull dyke! Win a cotton candy goat!Clown Barker
[looking at another toy of himself] Am I really that fat?Buzz Lightyear
Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
Jovie: Thanks, but I don't sing.
Buddy: Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down.
Jovie: I *can* sing, I just choose *not* to sing. Especially in front of other people.
Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.
Jovie: Actually, there's a BIG difference.
Buddy: No there's not.
There was only one road back to L.A. - U.S. Interstate 15. Just a flat-out high speed burn through Baker and Barstow and Berdoo. Then onto the Hollywood Freeway, and straight on into frantic oblivion. Safety. Obscurity. Just another freak. In the freak kingdom.Raoul Duke