Popular Comedy Quotes
Ben Affleck: So? Action, Gus or what?
Gus Van Sant: Christ, Ben, I said I'm busy.
It may not be my way, but damn if there doesn't go one happy family. All right, gang, let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner, and then when the guys come out with the monkey, we'll... Fuckbeans. That was them, wasn't it?Whillenholly
In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us.Jay
And we do want to say to the people at home, the clit is not something to be played with.Reg Hartner
Brodie: Oh my God. Don't tell me you have no idea there's a movie being made of the comic you two were the basis for.
Jay: What? Since when?
Brodie: See, here's the pulse. And this is your finger, far away from the pulse, jammed straight up your ass. Say, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
Emily: You like sugar, huh?
Buddy: Is there sugar in syrup?
Buddy: Then YES!
I hope one rips the other one's shirt off and we see some fuckin titties floppin around, yeah!Jay
Justice: Hi, I'm Justice.
Jay: And I'm so fucking yours.
Sissy: Your shit is really getting tired, Justice.
Justice: Call me 'Boo-Boo-Kitty-Fuck', bitch.
Hey. Get the fuck off her. That's my ex-girlfriend's monkey.Jay
Ty Webb: Just be the ball, be the ball, be the ball. You're not being the ball Danny.
Danny Noonan: It's hard when you're talking like that.
Kit: You couldn't be more wrong if you called it a Canadian Goose.
Ace: I'll give you a Canadian Goose.