Popular Comedy Quotes
We can hang in my crib. I will show you my 'hood.Lee
Steven Spielberg: So, Austin, what did you think of the opening credits?
Austin Powers: Well, I can't believe Sir Steven Spielberg, the grooviest film maker in the history of cinema, is making a movie about my life. Very Shagadelic, baby, yeah!
Willy: Children, do you wanna know what makes all my candy taste so special?
Willy: It's a special secret ingredient. It's real human parts. There's gonna be a little itty bitty piece of each and every one of you inside of the yummy yum candy, literally.
You suck! Jackass!Donald
Frank: So who do you hang around with?
Dwayne: [shakes head]
Frank: No one?
Dwayne: [writes "I Hate Everyone"]
Frank: What about your family?
Dwayne: [underlines "Everyone"]
In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people... the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing...Nigel Tufnel
I hate Mondays.Puss-in-Boots
James Brennan: Maybe I'm not the right guy to run this game. I really... I think I should probably be on the rides department.
Bobby: Oh, no, no, no. No. You're more of a game guy.
Paulette: Yeah, you're very... you're very gamey.
Veronica Sawyer: Dear Diary: Heather told me she teaches people "real life." She said, real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly. I said, so, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly? She said, yes. I said, you're beautiful.
Daphne Wilder: I say marriage, you say...
Transvestite: Vera Wang.
Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup?
Inigo Montoya: Let me 'splain. [pause] No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry' Humperdinck in a little less than half an hour. So all we have to do is get in, break up the wedding, steal the princess, make our escape... after I kill Count Rugen.
Westley: That doesn't leave much time for dilly-dallying.
Fezzik: You just wiggled your finger. That's wonderful.
Westley: I've always been a quick healer. What are our liabilities?
Inigo Montoya: There is but one working castle gate, and... and it is guarded by 60 men.
Westley: And our assets?
Inigo Montoya: Your brains, Fezzik's strength, my steel.
If any of us get laid tonight, it's because of Eric Bana in "Munich."Ben Stone