Popular Comedy Quotes
Serendipity: I'm responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.
Serendipity: Yeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.
Your hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what should be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus.Bartleby
Rufus: So what do we do now?
Metatron: Well, I say we get drunk, because I'm all out of ideas.
Rufus: We were sent by Him who is called I Am!
Cardinal Glick: Cute. Really cute. Now come on, kids, playtime with the Cardinal is over.
Rufus: Worked for Moses.
Rufus: I'm telling you, man, this ceremony is a big mistake.
Cardinal Glick: The Catholic Church does not make mistakes.
Rufus: Please. What about the Church's silent consent to the slave trade?
Bethany: And its platform of non-involvement during the Holocaust?
Cardinal Glick: All right, mistakes were made.
You're looking at eons of repression getting purged. If only they'd let us jerk off.Loki
Quit leering at me. People are gonna think I just broke up with you.Bartleby
IT'S IN THE HOLE!Carl Spackler
Jay: You know, I hear pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester.
Bethany: I'll keep that in mind.
Very basic strategy. If your enemies know where you are, then don't be there.Rufus
There was madness in any direction, at any hour. You could strike sparks anywhere. There was a fantastic universal sense that whatever we were doing was right, that we were winning.Raoul Duke
Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Has it been five years? Six? It seems like a lifetime, the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. But no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.Raoul Duke