Frank Drebin: Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.
Guard: Yeah, and I'm Robert De Niro.
Frank Drebin: Mr. De Niro, we got to get inside.

...and the sea cucumber turns to the mollusk and says, "With fronds like these, who needs anemones?"


That's life. If nothing else, its life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have.


What's the craziest thing you've done lately?


Your face smells like peppermint!

Aaron Samuels

Marianne: Come, I'm taking you on a walk.
Margaret: No, I've been on a walk.
Marianne: You need another.
Margaret: It's going to rain.
Marianne: It is NOT going to rain.
Margaret: You ALWAYS say that, and then it ALWAYS does.

People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is that they have the power. You want to see a miracle? Be the miracle.


Buddy: Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas Carol.
Jovie: No way.

Harry: I'm glad he likes it there. I'm glad we were able to give him something, something good and happy. Because he wasn't such a bad kid, was he?
Ken: Huh?
Harry: He wasn't a bad kid, was he?

Hey, you got anything better to read? I gotta go fire off a missile.


Nurse: My lady, the house is stirring. It is a new day.
Viola De Lesseps: It is a new WORLD.

Brodie: Brandi is the past my friend. You face forward, or you face the possibility of shock and damage.
[Brodie gets knocked down by a metal beam]
Brodie: Where the hell did that come from? What's going on here?
T.S. Quint: Looks like a stage is being erected.
Brodie: What is this monstrosity?
T.S. Quint: Maybe it's for the Easter Bunny pictures.
Brodie: Impossible, the Easter Bunny Court is down at the other end of the mall, it's been there since two days after Christmas. I want answers!

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