Popular Comedy Quotes
Emma: It must be nice having a job with so much downtime.
Randal Graves: Downtime's important. If I had to deal with the fucking mouth-breathers all day, I'd dip my head in the deep-fryer. Balls, too...
Elias: That's bestiality, Randal!
Randal Graves: At it's finest, I hope.
Elias: Who would want to see something like that?
Randal Graves: Dante, me, YOU.
Elias: I don't want to see something like that! Why would you want to see something like that?
Randal Graves: Because it's fucked up! Besides, I want to know if a chick with a mouth full of donkey spunk swallows. Lemme borrow your cell phone.
Becky: Shit, I had to wait on a guy I blew after Junior Prom.
Randal Graves: Yeah, I've waited on your brother too.
Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Has it been five years? Six? It seems like a lifetime, the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. But no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. Whatever it meant.Raoul Duke
Teen #1: How about a nickel bag?
Jay: Fifteen bucks, lit-tle man. Put that shit in my hand. Nong nong nonga nonga nong nong.
Teen #1: [to Teen #2] He likes to sing.
Randal Graves: Why haven't you fucked Myra yet?
Elias: Well we can't because of Pillow Pants.
Randal Graves: What the fuck's Pillow Pants?
Elias: Pillow Pants is a little troll that lives in her pussy.
Say what you will about Jesus, but leave "The Rings" alone.Elias
You gotta be as blind as Anne Frank not to see that.Randal Graves
Stephanie: [to Jack as she is beating him with her motorcycle helmet] I hope you die!
[stops beating Jack and looks at Miles]
Stephanie: You too!
Miles Raymond: Me?
Randal Graves: You swung at me!
Dante Hicks: You ducked.
Randal Graves: Because you swung at me!
I hate to say this, but this place is getting to me. I think I'm getting the fear.Dr. Gonzo
You drive. You drive. I think there's something wrong with me.Dr. Gonzo